有生之年我希望人们用这三句话来羞辱我:“长得帅就了不起啊”“你不就是有几个臭钱吗?”“找了个好老婆了不起啊?”我希望我能落得如此下场!
In my lifetime, I hope people will use these three words to humiliate me: "Being handsome is amazing!" "Don't you just have a few bad money?" "Finding a good wife is amazing!" I hope I can end up like this!
问:“同龄人中不少人结婚生子了,对你有什么影响吗?”
答:“对我没啥影响,对我妈影响比较大。”
Question: "Many people of the same age have gotten married and had children. Does it have any impact on you?" Answer: "It doesn't have much impact on me, it has a greater impact on my mother."
拿杯奶茶过安检,安检员:手里拿的什么?我:奶茶。安检员:喝一口。我:走开!要喝自己买去!
Take a cup of milk tea and pass the security check. Security inspector: What is in your hand? Me: Milk tea. Security inspector: Take a sip. Me: Go away! If you want to drink, buy it yourself!
在脸上砸了那么多钱护肤,结果身体任何一块皮肤都比脸上好。
Spending so much money on skincare on the face resulted in any piece of skin on the body being better than on the face.
世界上最动听的三个字,不是“我爱你”,而是“你瘦了”。
The three most beautiful words in the world are not "I love you", but "you have lost weight".
“攻的反义词是什么?”“母。”“我说的是攻击的攻!”“对啊,母鸡的母啊!”
"What is the opposite of attack?" "Mother." "I'm talking about attack!" "Yes, it's against the mother of the hen!"
问:为什么有的男生撩着撩着突然就不理你了?答:大面积撒网,选择性捕捞,你被放生了。
Q: Why do some boys suddenly ignore you while teasing? Answer: Large area casting of nets, selective fishing, you have been released.
当我说“随便”的时候,我的意思是:我懒得去想,也想不出好的,虽然是让你看着办,但你一定要想出我满意的才行。
When I say "casually", what I mean is: I'm too lazy to think, I can't think of anything good. Although it's up to you to decide, you must come up with something that satisfies me.